Sleepy!

I have had a really hard time getting used to this schedule with Sebastian going to school, I have to get up so much earlier. I like being up earlier, it's the going to bed earlier that I have a problem with. I think it has to do with the fact that I hate to be left out. I think if I go to bed something great is going to happen and I won't be there to see it. However, I never had a problem sleeping in... I guess in my mind nothing good happens in the morning. Some nights I'm good, usually they are the nights when I didn't get much sleep the night before and I'm exhausted, but not always. Like right now my eyes are burning out of my head and I literally am having a hard time walking and keeping my eyes open and concentrating. Frankly, I love my schedule, I just don't like being so tired. Most days I take a nap while I'm watching Wade. I don't mean to, I am just sitting down or laying on the floor after playing with Wade and just don't get up. My eyes just quickly grow so heavy that i can't even try to keep them open anymore and I take a nap. That is working, except for the fact that Wade knows when I'm incapacitated and takes advantage, luckily that just means making a little bit of a mess and not destroying anything yet, but I have to know that he's capible of anything as his favorite thing to do is get the scissors and cut whatever he finds first. Again, luckily, he hasn't destroyed anything important, but it's just a matter of time. Another thing he does when I'm sleeping is, when he realizes it, he will run at me and growl. We play a game where I pretend to snore and when he comes close I jump at him and growl and scare him. Maybe the days he growls at me when I'm sleeping are days when I snore? I have about an hour in the morning after I get Sebastian to the bus and before Wade wakes up, and I could go back to bed, but I feel guilty almost because Matt usually goes to bed with me and he doesn't get to go back to bed, he has to go to work. (Although, last night, it was his fault that we stayed up as late as we did, I was getting ready for bed and I couldn't find him, I found him playing on the comp, as we just got a new comp yesterday he has been playing with it and he couldn't resist, we stayed up later then we should have.) Lately the baby Lydia has been waking up in the middle of the night, or having a problem going to sleep so even after I get to sleep late, Matt goes to bed and I have a while of getting Lydia to bed and then her waking up through the night and I don't get a good nights sleep.

Dear Diary...

I need a place that I can write all of my thoughts and ideas where I know that the people that read it will want to, and not because they think it's some fun anecdote about my kids or family. It's not always going to be pretty. It's easier to type my thoughts then to write them and so I started this blog to type my feelings out and make me feel happier. Some times the difference between sanity and insanity is getting things on paper, or in this case on the computer screen! I won't edit myself, so you read at your own risk, but just in general, I'm not that vulgar so you don't have much to worry about. I highly doubt anyone will really read this, but it's not for anyone else, but they are welcome to it if they dare!!! DUM DUM DUM!!!!